Daisypath Wedding tickers

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Back in the Saddle

After the debacle that was the last attempt at purchasing a home, I was feeling like the best thing we could do for our poor, worn out selves, was find a less expensive rental, move, take a deep breath  and start over again in a month or so when the nausea from the last experience had worn off.

Best laid plans, right?

This past weekend just so happened to be our son's second birthday (sniffle, sob) which meant the inlaws were in town, which meant, we might as well go look at some houses while they're here.  They are such kind and generous souls that they have agreed to help us navigate the home buying process and assist with getting us started in our first home.

We started off looking at a handful of houses in our price range, in the areas we would want to live.  It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining, we were rested from the birthday festivities, coffee-ed up and rarin' to go.   Being the eternal optimist that I am, (Holly, quit laughing) I had high hopes that today might be the day.  That we might see something extraordinary, something just right for us, something that wasn't falling down, or had holes in the roof, or reeked of cat urine, or backed up to a really bad neighborhood.  The first few houses we looked at were just that; dilapidated, falling down shacks in bad neighborhoods. My spirits were sinking as we drove to the one remaining house on our list. I took a deep breath and said to myself 'pleaselethisbetheone, pleaseletthisbetheone...'

We drove around the corner and into an adorable little neighborhood.  This looked promising.  A cute little house on a nice, clean, little street.  We pulled into the driveway and I swear, a  ray of sunshine came down from the clouds and the angel choir soundtrack started playing in the background.... Could this be it? It's so.....so.......not a total piece of crap. Fresh paint! Clean brick! Intact windows! It's not leaning to one direction!

Do you remember that scene in Beauty and the Beast, when the Beast blindfolds Belle and takes her to his library?  Do you remember how she spun around, taking in the beauty of all the books stacked three stories high? That's how I felt as our agent swung the door open and we we were met with only the smell of fresh paint.  Bright sunshine was streaming through the numerous windows. A huge fireplace hearth whispered 'come sit here and let me warm you...' Each of the two smaller bedrooms had surprisingly large closets.  The master suite had (drum roll please.....) HIS AND HERS CLOSETS. And a double vanity.  The kitchen was a perfect size, open to the rest of the house, and had a cute little bay window looking out into the back yard (the almost half an acre yard!)  Said yard was full of trees and shrubs, and surrounded by an upright, fully functioning fence.  A third detached garage sat proudly in the back yard just waiting to be filled with tools and projects.

While the house isn't exactly South Austin, where we live now, it's not very far from it.  We call it SouthSouth Austin, which is actually Buda; a quaint little community with a Main Street, a donut shop, plant stores, cafes and a train depot, and just about the cutest little library that ever did live.  It's in a great school district that we can get excited about, and just a hop, skip and a jump to a little place I fondly refer to as Disneyland for Rednecks, a.k.a. "Cabela's".  It is an outdoorsman's dream. Which I could give a rip about, but my man loves it.

I don't want to get too ahead of myself and set myself up for a huge letdown.  But I have to be honest and say that the first thing I thought of when I saw the yard in this house is how completely perfect it would be for a wedding. I mean, look: 

 Can't you just see us standing in that little circle, exchanging vows? If you squint and maybe green up the grass a bit?

I hope it isn't too good to be true.  It has been recently painted, inside and out. It's clean.  It lets in tons of light. Our son sat down and started playing in the yard immediately.  The neighbors waved.  The street was quiet.  There wasn't an eyesore, falling down, dilapidated house in sight.  It's less than a 15 minute commute for the future Mr. Husband. Best of all, it isn't short sale. 

We made an offer, and, as of this writing, we're officially under contract.  Cross your fingers.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Location, Location, Location

Well, that's done.  I have to say, letting go of the house is a mixed bag.  On the one hand, I feel tremendously relieved to just be done with the waiting and not knowing.  It opens up a world of possibilities; not waiting on a closing date, not wondering when we'll be moving, not wondering how long it will take and how much money it will cost to do renovations, not stressing out about if it'll all be done in time.....very freeing.  But the flip side of that is a little puzzling.  I mean, now what?

The future Mr. Husband and I have had a few brief conversations about the 'now what' and we haven't really come to any solid conclusions.  Our biggest priority right now is still finding somewhere to live.  We're a one income family by choice, and we're grateful that we've been able to make it work for as long as we have.  However, we'd been anticipating purchasing a home, and not only because it's a smart investment, but because the mortgage payments would be less than our rent is. Since the house didn't come to fruition, we still need to do something to free up some finances. It would be really nice to have a little extra dough from time to time,  to go out and have fun with, to put towards the wedding, and to set aside for our future.  So here we are, realizing if the house ain't happenin', we'd better move anyway, and probably sooner rather than later.

Now the plan is to find somewhere to rent for the immediate future that's more affordable, and start all over again with the house hunting. Square One. Square-o Uno.  Back to The Beginning. (Insert and enormous, bosom-heaving sigh here.)

Like I was saying. Freeing.  About the only thing we do know is that we would still like to get married this summer.  I mean, schedule wise it's what's easiest for friends and family, and fer cryin' out loud, it's time! I (ahem, I mean, 'we') have waited a LONG time for this! I'm ready to be a Mrs.  I'm ready to stop feeling silly when referring to my 'nephews' and 'in-laws'. I'm ready to upgrade from 'girlfriend' to 'wife', because it just feels weird at this point.

Ideally, in the next week or two, we'll find a lovely little house (that's NOT a short sale) and move in and slap some paint on the walls and set a date and get on with it. It's a dream I'm not quite ready to let go of.  I'm also open to looking at other venues.  I've done a little searching in the area for inexpensive venues and I haven't found anything terribly promising just yet.  It doesn't help that every time I start to look I get completely overwhelmed and walk away.  Mostly due to the fact that I don't know where to start looking.  I want it to be something meaningful or symbolic of 'us', but I mean, what is an expression of 'us'?  Park? Bar? Beach? Restaurant?Used car lot? Boat?

Even though I'd vetoed it from the beginning, I found myself revisiting the idea of a simple civil ceremony at the courthouse. I halfheartedly threw the idea out and was met with zero enthusiasm. and I admit, I can't really get on board with it either. The idea is nice; simple, intimate, quick and to the point. And yet.....somehow, not right for us. I don't want to make any rash decisions out of frustration, and I think a lot of Brides to Be toss around the idea for that very reason. Besides, my Beloved deserves more.  It might be my second time, but it's his first, and if he wants some bells and whistles, he should have some bells and whistles.

A friend of mine gave me a great piece of advice. She said that in order to really get a feel for what you want your wedding day to look like, each of you needs to sit down and write out key words that you want to describe your big day.  Compare lists, narrow it down to the 5 most important, and let that decide everything.  For example, if your words are; 'fresh, large, bouncy, loud, and pistachio", let everything reflect that.  Looking at band?  Well, are they fresh, large, bouncy, loud and pistachio?  Deciding on a cake?  Is it fresh, large, bouncy, loud, and pistachio?  You get the idea.

Guess we'll take this blank slate and head back to the drawing board.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Rainy Day Woes, and Little to do With a Wedding

Let's take a diversion for a moment, shall we?  It's been a few days since I've posted, and it's mostly due to the fact that I haven't had anything nice to say.  Instead of spewing all over the place, I've been taking Thumper's advice and not saying anything at all. However, that's left me feeling really stuck, and every time I've sat down and attempted to write something cheery and wedding-y, I've ended up scrapping it and walking away.  So I figured, what the hell. I might as well write about this funk I'm in and see if that doesn't help get me out of it.

As most of you are aware, we've been trying to buy a house for quite some time now.  We put an offer on this house last July.  July of 2009.  Makes it sound like eons ago, doesn't it?   It feels like it, too.  The house is a short sale, which just means that the people selling it are selling it 'short' of what they actually owe. It also means that attempting to buy such a house is a long and arduous process.  Looking back, I think if we'd known then what we know now, we might have thought twice about making the offer. But, here we are, seven months later, still waiting on the bank for a response. We actually did have our offer approved, in early January (just before we left town for a 10 day vacation....isn't that how it always goes?) and while we were gone a flurry of activity happened. The result of that activity was discovering some expensive foundation repairs were in order.  We weren't going to give it all up over just that though, so we revised our offer and resubmitted it to the sellers.  They declined.  And after some careful consideration on their part, they reconsidered, and accepted our new offer. Which meant starting the entire process over again; new contract, new paperwork.....and that's where we are today.  Waiting for (another) approval from the bank.

What's different about this time is that the sellers are scheduled to go into foreclosure soon.  When we drew up the new contract, we put in a closing date of February 15th. At this point, it's looking extremely unlikely that anything will have  happened by then. Especially considering a couple of days ago we received a quick update from the listing agent to let us know that the bank had our complete file, but a negotiator had not been assigned yet. 

So our plan is this.  On Monday the 15th, if we haven't gotten a response from the bank, we're pulling the plug.  The offer is off the table. No more waiting, no more negotiation, no more pestering the bank for information.  In theory, we could just wait it out until the end of the month.  If the house goes into foreclosure, then we know we're really done.  (Unless, of course, we want to go to the auction and try to bid on the house then....but the very thought of prolonging this any longer makes me ill.) So we've decided on the 15th as our D(one) Day.  For our sanity and well being, we have to move on with our lives.  Everything has been on hold for months now, to say we're sick of it is a gross understatement. 

To compound matters even further, we've been having a run of positively awful weather.  It's not helping my disposition in the least. It's been gray, cold and rainy for what feels like decades.  The sun has peeked out a couple of times, but even when it has it's still been miserably cold. Being cooped up indoors with a two year-old and trying to think of things to keep him busy has been numbing and exhausting. 

One way or the other, come Monday, I'll have a new outlook on life.  Knowing if we're buying a house or not will be incredibly freeing.  We can get on with planning our lives, our wedding, and our future.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Dress; Part Deux

Remember that cheerful little ditty at the end of the last post?  Out of all those choices (wishing yourself dead, ashamed of yourself, ashamed of your man, sinking spirits, etc.) clearly white is the way to go.  Followed closely by blue, and trailed by the not entirely awful brown.  Well, I'm pretty set on not wearing white, not for any other reason than I have a toddler and I can expect it would stay clean for maybe 5 minutes, tops. Especially since we're planning outdoor nuptials.  As I stated previously, blue is traditionally associated with purity and virginity, and I really doubt we're fooling anyone there. What with the child and all, that's a hard one to pull off. I'd actually considered blue for a while, but now that I have that association in my head, I'm afraid I'd feel silly wearing it.

Which brings us to brown, and interestingly enough, I've been leaning towards brown.  Well, not exactly  brown, per se, as in dirt color.  But more of a soft, mocha, or creamy hot chocolate brown. Accented with a nice, soft vanilla white and maybe another color thrown in for fun.  Purple? Green? Think a chocolate/vanilla twist soft serve frozen yogurt with sprinkles.

So, with that in mind, I drug a willing and patient friend to a big chain bridal store and had a really, erm, interesting experience.  The staff was rude, disorganized and harried.  Not to mention unprofessional and just all around irritating. My intention for this field trip was to go and try on a handful of dresses, get ideas for fit, length, style, take some notes and head for the fabric store.  Naturally, I found a dress I love. But according to my budget I'm allotted $60 for the dress, and it retails for $100. Don't get me wrong, $100 for a wedding dress is incredibly reasonable, considering the headline on a recent bridal magazine proudly announced "Affordable dresses under $2,000!" I'm holding off on ordering it until I do some more looking.  Since it's a pretty popular chain store, I'm not entirely ruling out find the same dress in the color I want on Ebay or craigslist.  And without a date for the wedding nailed down, I'm not exactly feeling pressed for time. 

On that note, we don't have any new news on the house situation.  But, there is an end in sight. One way or the other, we will have our answer by the middle of February.  Of course, we're hoping that the news is good and the bank gives us the green light to go ahead with closing.  If not, well, expect some kvetching and whining while I reassess and start trying to come up with Plan B.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Let's talk taffeta

We have the budget sketched out. We have a place in mind, we have a goal to work towards and we have some rough ideas about look, feel, and atmosphere.

Let's move on to some more exciting topics, shall we?  You know what I'm getting at, ladies.

The Dress.

Naturally, moments after the ring was placed on my finger,  I began surfing websites for wedding dresses.  I feel a little lucky in this aspect of the planning because 1) Big, poufy, full, hoop skirt, lacy, train, veil and bustle; these are not words in my vocabulary. Which is good because all these adjectives often equal expensive. 2) This will be 'take two' of my Trip Down the Aisle, and when it comes to wedding dresses, that's pretty liberating. I don't think anyone really expects you to don the full marriage regalia when it's your second time. This makes me lucky because I can eliminate about 90% of the bridal wear that's available out there and narrow my sights to alternative (read: less expensive) options.

In a perfect world, I'd have nothing but time on my hands and I'd be making my own wedding dress right now. I mean, talk about affordable.  Ten buck, tops, for a pattern and maybe $40 for some yardage of really nice shantung silk. I'd actually come in under budget for the dress.  I enjoy sewing, and while I'm nowhere near an expert seamstress, I think with the right pattern (and a lot of hand holding and encouragement) I'd be fine. However, as you recall, we have a two year old and he comes first and that means that on average, I have about 7 minutes of time to focus on hobbies each week. Quite often, most of that time gets used up going to the bathroom instead. I haven't entirely written off the idea of making the dress myself, but it will take some serious strategic maneuvers to make it happen. So while I fantasize in the pages of Butterick and McCalls, I've also got one finger on ebay and craigslist, just to keep my options open. And just for fun, I'm planning a trip to some bridal boutiques to try on dresses.  You know, just to get ideas on shape and fit and style and all that.  And maybe squeal with girlfriends and jump up and down a little. I might be someone's mother, but I'm still a girl.

So I'm flipping through some bridal magazines (that do NOT count as part of the budget, thankyouverymuch, as I intend to cobble them together and make a booster seat out of them) to see what's new and hip and trendy and fashionable these days and let me tell you.  Not much.  I guess the word in 'bridal' is still big, and full, and white, or ecru or eggshell or champagne or ivory or, well, you get the idea.  And I have to wonder: when did emulating meringue become the desired look for your wedding day?  So off I went to do some research.  I'll spare you the detailed history of the wedding dress, because I figure if you're really curious you can read Wikipedia for yourself.  But you know what?  White is a relatively contemporary thing for wedding dresses. And contrary to popular belief, it's not necessarily associated with purity and virginity (that's what blue is for, apparently).  We can thank Queen Victoria in the 1840's for having some white lace she wanted to use and thereby starting a trend.  It became a status thing among the elite, to say, 'Look at me. I'm so rich I can wear this totally impractical white dress that I'll never wear again because it would get dirty and ruined." As apposed to the middle class gal who would have to settle for a nice dress she could wear again and again because it's all she could afford.  So, on that note, I'll leave you with this uplifting little ditty I found, also courtesy of Wikipedia:


Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”