Well, that's done. I have to say, letting go of the house is a mixed bag. On the one hand, I feel tremendously relieved to just be done with the waiting and not knowing. It opens up a world of possibilities; not waiting on a closing date, not wondering when we'll be moving, not wondering how long it will take and how much money it will cost to do renovations, not stressing out about if it'll all be done in time.....very freeing. But the flip side of that is a little puzzling. I mean, now what?
The future Mr. Husband and I have had a few brief conversations about the 'now what' and we haven't really come to any solid conclusions. Our biggest priority right now is still finding somewhere to live. We're a one income family by choice, and we're grateful that we've been able to make it work for as long as we have. However, we'd been anticipating purchasing a home, and not only because it's a smart investment, but because the mortgage payments would be less than our rent is. Since the house didn't come to fruition, we still need to do something to free up some finances. It would be really nice to have a little extra dough from time to time, to go out and have fun with, to put towards the wedding, and to set aside for our future. So here we are, realizing if the house ain't happenin', we'd better move anyway, and probably sooner rather than later.
Now the plan is to find somewhere to rent for the immediate future that's more affordable, and start all over again with the house hunting. Square One. Square-o Uno. Back to The Beginning. (Insert and enormous, bosom-heaving sigh here.)
Like I was saying. Freeing. About the only thing we do know is that we would still like to get married this summer. I mean, schedule wise it's what's easiest for friends and family, and fer cryin' out loud, it's time! I (ahem, I mean, 'we') have waited a LONG time for this! I'm ready to be a Mrs. I'm ready to stop feeling silly when referring to my 'nephews' and 'in-laws'. I'm ready to upgrade from 'girlfriend' to 'wife', because it just feels weird at this point.
Ideally, in the next week or two, we'll find a lovely little house (that's NOT a short sale) and move in and slap some paint on the walls and set a date and get on with it. It's a dream I'm not quite ready to let go of. I'm also open to looking at other venues. I've done a little searching in the area for inexpensive venues and I haven't found anything terribly promising just yet. It doesn't help that every time I start to look I get completely overwhelmed and walk away. Mostly due to the fact that I don't know where to start looking. I want it to be something meaningful or symbolic of 'us', but I mean, what is an expression of 'us'? Park? Bar? Beach? Restaurant?Used car lot? Boat?
Even though I'd vetoed it from the beginning, I found myself revisiting the idea of a simple civil ceremony at the courthouse. I halfheartedly threw the idea out and was met with zero enthusiasm. and I admit, I can't really get on board with it either. The idea is nice; simple, intimate, quick and to the point. And yet.....somehow, not right for us. I don't want to make any rash decisions out of frustration, and I think a lot of Brides to Be toss around the idea for that very reason. Besides, my Beloved deserves more. It might be my second time, but it's his first, and if he wants some bells and whistles, he should have some bells and whistles.
A friend of mine gave me a great piece of advice. She said that in order to really get a feel for what you want your wedding day to look like, each of you needs to sit down and write out key words that you want to describe your big day. Compare lists, narrow it down to the 5 most important, and let that decide everything. For example, if your words are; 'fresh, large, bouncy, loud, and pistachio", let everything reflect that. Looking at band? Well, are they fresh, large, bouncy, loud and pistachio? Deciding on a cake? Is it fresh, large, bouncy, loud, and pistachio? You get the idea.
Guess we'll take this blank slate and head back to the drawing board.
