So far, reactions to my undertaking have been varied. From raised eyebrows, to supportive 'you can do it' to 'I have stuff you can borrow' to just plain 'really?' but with that look that says 'you're crazy.'
I think now is the time to talk about some specifics. First of all, this is obviously not going to be a full blown, sit down dinner somewhere in the Hamptons for 350 of our closest friends. That would be impossible to do on a $1,000 budget. I'm not that crazy.
I just finished reading a book called Altared, edited by Colleen Curran. It's a collection of essays written by women who were asked to talk about their wedding experience. I highly recommend it, it's a terrific collection. One of the last essays, by Dani Shapiro says: "The ring, the dress, the proposal, the place cards and flowers, the music, the minister or rabbi or justice of the peace-it will all add up to exactly nothing. There will be a moment when it's all over."
And that's what I'm trying to keep in mind as we put this event together. Yes, I want a Big Day. Yes, I want celebration and friends and family to share it with. I want pictures to capture the moments I might miss, and a dress to look at and remember it as My Special Wedding Dress. But I want to keep it in perspective as well. It's one day; one day that is the beginning of many we'll have together. I think making out the wedding day to be the biggest and best day of your life is kind of sad. What does that say about the rest of your days together?
So. Back to the logistics. A useful tool I found was a budget calculator on www.theknot.com. The calculator lets you enter the number of guests and your dollar amount, remove categories that are not relevant to your own wedding, and comes up with a breakdown for you. Since we're not planning on having hordes of attendants or a DJ or a wedding coordinator, there were a lot of categories I could eliminate. So, submitted for your approval, is a break down of my supposed budget (these numbers are based on 40 guests. The topic of the guest list is another post entirely....but for fun, let's just pretend we've agreed on 40 guests):
Reception Venue Rentals $80.00
Food Service $300.00
Beverages $80.00
Cake(s) & Cutting Fee $25.00
The Gown & Alterations $60.00
Bride's Accessories $10.00
Hair & Makeup $5.00
Prewedding Pampering $5.00
Groom's Tux or Suit $6.00
Groom's Accessories $3.00
Officiant Fee/Donation $10.00
Bride's Bouquet $7.50
Groom & Groomsmen Boutonnieres $2.00
Reception Decorations & Centerpieces $40.00
Ceremony Decorations $14.00
Photographer $60.00
Videographer $50.00
Additional Prints & Videos $10.00
Invitations & Reply Cards $25.00
Other Stationery $5.00
His Ring $10.00
Her Ring $10.00
Favors $15.00
TOTAL COST OF WEDDING $832.50
A few things really stick out to me. One, the marriage license fee is missing, and that's an expense we can't get around. I think in Texas it's around $40. Two, it's highly unlikely we'll get anyone to officiate for $10. Another point that sticks out is that the chance of finding a suitable outfit for my Beloved for $6 seems pretty improbable. Not impossible, just unlikely. Spending $5 on my hair and makeup apiece isn't going to happen. I'm not that easy. And ten bucks a pop for our rings just doesn't seem practical. In fact, I'm not going to include the rings in the budget at all because I consider those to be gifts to each other, and our own out of pocket expense. (And also because the ring I have my eye on would pretty much wipe out the entire budget.)
To date I've spent $66 on white Christmas lights in the hopes that we would be able to wind them around all the lovely trees in the backyard of the house we're trying to buy. According to the 'Ceremony Decorations' category, I'm already over budget.
