I had a tiny little epiphany this evening while perusing through some wedding porn. In the back of my mind a little wheel has been turning that has been having second thoughts. No, not those kind of second thoughts. The kind of second thoughts you have when you see weddings like the ones here: http://www.stylemepretty.com/.
I started to wonder if we should have planned this whole thing differently. I started to wonder if we'll regret not pulling out all the stops. You know, a really fancy venue with big round tables and crisp white tablecloths, carefully constructed floral arrangements, sparkly crystal candle things, an elaborate menu printed on fancy paper with loopy script, a big flowing dress and a three piece suit, limousines, rows of attendants, a DJ, and champagne fountains.
I have to admit, when I look at photographs of other people's weddings I think "Wow. Amazing. So beautiful! Look how they're glowing! So in love!" And then the "I wish we could do that....." or the "I wish I would have thought of that's" start to filter through. And our own little backyard wedding starts to feel.....little.
So you want to know what the epiphany was? While looking at all those pictures of those glowing brides in their thousand dollar gowns, and their fancy up-do's and elaborate table settings, I realized that 1) A lot of these couples are starting their marriages in serious debt to have been able to pull it all off 2) Guests don't usually remember things like the chandeliers or the bows on the chairs, or what font the menu was printed in or what kind of flowers were in the centerpiece. (They remember what they gave you, how much it cost, and if they got a thank you note or not. ) And 3) All of that fancy sparkly glittery stuff? That's all it does; sparkle and glitter. It's a visual cue to the observer that this day means something. Well, duh. You don't need tulle and a 12 piece band to make that clear.
Here is what I know. Our wedding day will be beautiful and meaningful. When it's over, the flowers will wither, the dress will be hung in the closet and the lights will be taken down. But the things that made our wedding day special will remain: our son, our vows, our families, our friends and our home. Those things are the real sparkle in our lives, and they're the things that last. Nothing makes me happier than seeing our son smile, watching my man walk through the door at the end of the day, spending time with friends and laughing until we cry or pee or both, and making time to be together as a family. How very lucky we are.
