Almost a Mrs.

I'm sure you've all probably been wondering what I've been up to. Well, worry  no further, my minions.  All is well in the land of SoontobeWed.  We've just been very, very busy.  First, a weekend on the coast to unwind in the sand and surf.  Ahh, it's good to be a mom and command at least one day of total worship and appreciation.  See how he hard he works to make me feel appreciated?  He didn't even expect me to clean or cook that thing.

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Then, back to reality where I wrapped up the semester and handed in my final papers.  Woot! Feels really good to have that done.  And then, holy crap, I'm getting married in THIRTY EIGHT DAYS so I'd better get moving.

Things are definitely starting to look up since my last post.

The shoes that didn't fit have been returned, and a cuter pair arrived a few days ago.  I didn't think it was possible, but I found shoes I love even more.  They are so adorable I sometimes confuse them with candy and want to take a bite.  I stashed them in the box on the top shelf, because walking down the aisle with teeth marks in my shoes would be weird.

The wedding invitations are done and mailed. Thank you, to the lovely and talented Mrs. Tuck.

The pies, well, I'm still working on the pies.  I left a message with a local 'pie lady' and I'm paaaatiently waiting to hear back.  (taptaptaptaptap)

We have a field trip to a farm planned for Saturday morning to go (hopefully) make arrangements for flowers.  The rest of the weekend is allotted for suit and ring shopping.

Tomorrow is Girl's Night and we'll be assembling favors.

The photographer has been coerced, er, confirmed.  We are so very, very lucky to have such talented and generous friends!

We met with another one of our dear friends (see above, about luckiness) who will officiate and have started a draft of the ceremony and vows. 

And so it goes.  Little by little, we're making it happen.

The Storm Before the Calm

Naturally, right after I wrote that last post about love and everlasting sparkle and all that feely good stuff, s**t started falling apart. 

First, the cafe that was going to make the pies called and said they can't.  The cafe is for sale, and because they don't know when they might be closing their doors for good, they don't want to make a commitment they may not be able to keep.  I understand, and I'm grateful that they didn't tell me this a week before the wedding.  But still.  Now what am I supposed to do?

Second, the ONE florist in town turned me away.  I went in hoping to have a conversation about my ideas (big bouquets of whatever is in season, like you might find at a farmer's market) see if that might be something she could source for me, or at the very least, see about having her make my bouquet. Before I finished describing the look I was going for, she told me there are no local farmer's markets with flowers, I'd have to go to Dallas to find them, but I could try one wholesale outlet that might or might not have what I want.  Oh, but go early on the day of the wedding or they might be out of flowers already.  At that point she turned her attention away from me to someone else, and that was the end of that.  I stood there with my mouth gaping open for a minute before I realized we were done, and then I left. 

Third, after playing phone tag with someone at the hotel nearest us, I finally got to talk to a live person about blocking rooms for guests.  Wouldn't you know it, she had all sorts of questions for me that I didn't have answers for; like how many double occupancy rooms I need, how many single king rooms, and how many kids are coming.  On top of it, my phone was breaking up and I could only get about every other word, and she was saying important things like 'contract' and 'deadline.'

Lastly, the shoes I ordered to wear on the big day arrived.  They are too small.  The size I need is out of stock. 

So Friday afternoon I had a little meltdown.  It didn't help that my loving and supportive Husband to Be responded to my frustrations with "See, this is why I didn't want to have the wedding so soon...." Which was met with a look that turned our 85 degree day a bit cooler.  But I just had to have a June wedding, didn't I?   If you've ever seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, you understand why.  What can I say?  I'm a sucker for a musical.

Since I have no choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other,  (one sad, naked foot) we move onward.

For the pies, I have a couple of ideas. One of them involves a rolling pin, ten pounds of flour, a couple of friends and probably a bottle of tequila. 

Flowers, well, I guess I'll start scoping out the grocery stores.  Not exactly my first choice, but definitely more affordable than having professional arrangements made.  Or, there's always the easement behind our house. It seems to be putting off something lovely and yellow.  I think it's called ragweed. 

Tomorrow, when I am fresh, I'll take a deep breath and peruse the contract for the hotel rooms. It can't be that complicated, right?

As for the shoes, at least piperlime.com has free shipping, both ways.  I'll return them, and start looking again.  (After I have a teeny weeny whiny tantrum because they were the only shoes I really really really loved and they would have been perfect and no other shoes will ever be just as perfect as they are.)

Thankfully, my dear, sweet (patient) and what-would-I-do-without-her Best Friend called today to offer up her pie making/flower arranging/shoe shopping services.  During the conversation she reminded me of a very important point:  None of that stuff matters.  It will all be perfect, however it turns out, no one will be the wiser if the shoes aren't my first choice or the pies are Sara Lee.  At the end of the day we will be husband and wife, and that's the only important thing.  It's funny, because I feel like I've heard that exact same thing somewhere else recently.....

Sparkle and Stuff

I had a tiny little epiphany this evening while perusing through some wedding porn.  In the back of my mind a little wheel has been turning that has been having second thoughts.  No, not those kind of second thoughts.  The kind of second thoughts you have when you see weddings like the ones here: http://www.stylemepretty.com/. 

I started to wonder if we should have planned this whole thing differently.  I started to wonder if we'll regret not pulling out all the stops.  You know, a really fancy venue with big round tables and crisp white tablecloths, carefully constructed floral arrangements, sparkly crystal candle things, an elaborate menu printed on fancy paper with loopy script, a big flowing dress and a three piece suit, limousines, rows of attendants, a DJ, and champagne fountains.

I have to admit, when I look at photographs of other people's weddings I think "Wow. Amazing. So beautiful! Look how they're glowing! So in love!" And then the "I wish we could do that....." or the "I wish I would have thought of that's" start to filter through.  And our own little backyard wedding starts to feel.....little.

So you want to know what the epiphany was?  While looking at all those pictures of those glowing brides in their thousand dollar gowns, and their fancy up-do's and elaborate table settings, I realized that 1) A lot of these couples are starting their marriages in serious debt to have been able to pull it all off 2) Guests don't usually remember things like the chandeliers or the bows on the chairs,  or what font the menu was printed in or what kind of flowers were in the centerpiece. (They remember what they gave you, how much it cost, and if they got a thank you note or not. ) And 3) All of that fancy sparkly glittery stuff? That's all it does; sparkle and glitter.  It's a visual cue to the observer that this day means something. Well, duh.  You don't need tulle and a 12 piece band to make that clear.

Here is what I know.  Our wedding day will be beautiful and meaningful.  When it's over, the flowers will wither, the dress will be hung in the closet and the lights will be taken down.  But the things that made our wedding day special will remain: our son, our vows, our families, our friends and our home. Those things are the real sparkle in our lives, and they're the things that last.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing our son smile, watching my man walk through the door at the end of the day,  spending time with friends and laughing until we cry or pee or both, and making time to be together as a family.  How very lucky we are. 

Getting S**t Done.

With two months to go before the wedding, I'm feeling the pressure.  Thankfully, the major bulk of the remodel is behind us, and with that, the wedding preparations seem to be gathering momentum all on their own. I had a feeling this would be the case, and in order to prepare for this moment, I opened a new checking account at our new bank and deposited $1000. 

The first thing I did last week was email a couple of barbecue joints around town to get a catering quote.  I had a feeling a full blown dinner would be way out of our budget, but for the sake of research, I did it anyway. One place never got back to me, and the other place sent me a quote of $850 for 100 people.  That would be 85% of our budget, so clearly that's a no go.  After a quick convo with the Intended about nixing diner altogether, we decided we'd rather just do dessert, iced tea, wine and beer.  Since we're not really 'cake' people (Well, I am. I'll eat anything sweet.  But My Love, not so much.  And it's about him as much as it is me. Right?) our dessert of choice will be pies.  Lots and lots of pies.  And what is more perfect for a picnic than pie?

Anywho, I emailed a local bakery for a quote and (as of this writing) haven't heard back.  I'm a little familiar with what they do, and have a rough idea of what dessert would cost if we used them. We're taking in the neighborhood of $200, which isn't terrible considering the entire budget for reception food and beverage is $405.  However, there's a little mom and pop diner/bakery on Main Street in downtown Buda that does pie, and on Friday evening I popped in and talked to them about a custom order.  The quote they gave me was half what the other one is likely to be.  So, one of my tasks for next week is to stop in and have a piece of pie to see if it's tasty.  A terrible chore, I know.  But someone's gotta do it.  

Next up on the list: shoes.  I'd been looking online for a while, and found a pair that I absolutely adore. I'm not going to tell you what they look like just yet, because I was there to be some surprise on the actual day. Let's just say they're freakin' adorable, from piperlime.com and were a total of $32.46.  Not too shabby, considering the budget for my entire ensemble is $60 and I already have the dress!

I also went ahead and and started a wedding registry.  I went around and around for the longest time about even having a registry.  For one, it feels weird to make a list of all the things you want so other people can get them for you.  Not to mention we're not exactly spring chickens flying the coop with nary a sheet or towel to our names.  And third, I think Emily Post or Miss Manners or someone I hold in high regard says it's tacky, especially if it's a second wedding.  But just because it's my second time around, why should The Mister be punished forever with mismatched plates and old scratchy towels?  

Friday afternoon I left the kiddo with his dad and made a trip to Hobby Lobby to get the supplies to make the wedding invitations.  I found some paper online that I wanted to use, but as luck would have it, they didn't carry it in the store.  Rather than get discouraged (because with two months to go, I don't really have time for that) I went with plan B which was......well, I just sort of made it up right there on the spot.  And I have to say, I  am pretty pleased with  myself.  I'm still tweaking the final design, but I think I'm on the right track.  I'll post a picture when I have one finished.

While I was there I also picked up some card stock for the wedding favors.  My plan is to cover matchboxes with pretty paper (something like this: http://blog.lilacandivy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Matchboxes.jpg) and scatter them around in conspicuous places along with fistfuls of sparklers.

So, since this blog is all about budget, let's have a little recap and see where we're at, shall we?  (Oh, and remember that post when I was all like "I"m not telling you how much I spent on the dress 'cause you'll judge me?" Yeah....I had a 'duh' moment when I realized that sort of defeats the whole intention of writing about a budget.....)

So in the interest of full disclosure, here we go: 

Reception Venue Rentals  $80.00             Actual spent to date: $0
  
Food Service   $300.00                             Actual spent to date: $0

Beverages    $80.00                                  Actual spent to date: $0

Cake(s) & Cutting Fee   $25.00               Actual spent to date: $0

The Gown & Alterations   $60.00           Actual spent to date: $11
   
Bride's Accessories   $10.00                   Actual spent to date: $32.46
   
Hair  & Makeup  $5.00                           Actual spent to date: $0

Prewedding Pampering $5.00                Actual spent to date: $8 (brow wax, courtesy groupon.com)
   
Groom's Tux or Suit $6.00                    Actual spent to date: $0
 
Groom's Accessories $3.00                   Actual spent to date: $0

Officiant Fee/Donation $10.00              Actual spent to date: $0
 
Bride's Bouquet $7.50                           Actual spent to date: $0

Groom & Groomsmen Boutonnieres  $2.00      Actual spent to date: $0
   
Reception Decorations & Centerpieces   $40.00       Actual spent to date: $69.00 (white xmas lights and a roll of ribbon)

Ceremony Decorations  $14.00               Actual spent to date: see above
  
Photographer   $60.00                            Actual spent to date: $0
   
Videographer   $50.00                          Actual spent to date: $0

Additional Prints & Videos   $10.00    Actual spent to date: $0
   
Invitations &Reply Cards   $25.00      Actual spent to date: $10.24

Other Stationery   $5.00                     Actual spent to date: $0
 
His Ring   $10.00                               Actual spent to date: $0
   
Her Ring   $10.00                              Actual spent to date: $0

Favors   $15.00                                 Actual spent to date: $12.74

As you can see, we're making good progress.  I still have a few concerns; mainly finding a photographer who's willing to work for, well, er, pie, and finding something for the future husband to wear that doesn't blow the whole budget out of the water.  

And now, for your pure viewing pleasure (and to change the subject, because I'm starting to feel stressed out) how's this for the cutest little fella you ever did see? 

Time Is(n't) On My Side....

It's been twelve days since my last post and I have no idea where the time went.  If our wedding day sneaks up on me this quickly we are in big, big trouble.  I'm picturing slapping some makeup on, a box of cookies and some juice boxes for the kids.  You know, the stuff nightmares are made of. 

In my last post I may have understated how much we'd accomplished on the remodeling front just a wee bit.  Like, did I mention the two bathrooms we still had to totally renovate?  My Future Father in Law came (and has been here for two weeks now) to retile, regrout, retoilet, remove and redo the master bath.



Before                                                                                           After                                                                               

Once that was accomplished, he retiled the floor of the other bath, regrouted the shower and ripped out the sink cabinet and replaced it with a pedestal sink.

Before                                                                                                                     After

 Let me first say I don't have room to complain.  About anything.  We are extremely lucky to have such a generous man in our lives who is so completely willing to come and give up his time and energy to do the remodeling for us.  If left to our own devices it either wouldn't happen or would take years to accomplish.  I will be eternally grateful to him for all his hard work.  That said, living in a construction zone isn't easy. Keeping the Wee One out of the way, out of the tools and out of the buckets of gunk is tiring.  The weather hasn't helped because it's keeping us inside most of the time and as if that wasn't enough, due to some car trouble, we're kinda stranded at the house.  Anyone that knows me knows that I don't tolerate messes very well.  Let's just say the last couple of weeks, between the weather and the renovating, the state of my floors has been enough to push me to the brink. But what can I do?  Nothing. Knowing it's futile to do anything about it until it's done just gives me something to wring my hands over. (At the time of this posting, the FFIL has left, and I vacuumed up the first layer of crud. Hooray!)

So instead of wringing my hands uselessly, I'm updating my minions.  Only, I don't have much to update about. I'm thinking about invitations.  I'm thinking about food.  I'm thinking about a suit and flowers and starting to really, really seriously get kinda freaked out that the wedding is happening in roughly 10 weeks.  Oh yeah, did I mention we set a date?  The last Saturday of June, the 26th.  We're committed, and I think I'm overwhelmed.  My inner dialogue lately has been "I can do this. How hard can it be?  All I need is to find some catering we can afford, get The Mister a suit and figure out some flowers. We're practically done!"  And then I think oh wait. We need an officiant.  And a wedding license.  And maybe some rings.  And I should block out some hotel rooms.  Should I do a save the date?  Do I need to? What about a registry? We'll probably want pictures of our wedding, so I should find a photographer.  And we'll want music, so......I should do something about that, too.

I started a checklist on theknot.com, and according to that, I should send out the wedding invitations three months in advance. Three months?? Since when is that the norm?  I always thought it was three to 4 weeks....did something change?

Also, according to that checklist, I have 140 things left to do.

Gulp.

Wedding Porn

You gotta check out this wedding:

http://offbeatbride.com/2010/04/outdoor-indiana-wedding

Done?  Ok. I love this wedding for so many reasons.   Let's review, shall we?  First, the very first thing she says is 'we took everything we loved and rolled it into one crazy night.'  For some reason, probably because I'm a wee bit controlling about things,  I've been concerned about not having a 'theme' that runs through our wedding.  You know, like a beach theme, or boats or camping or whatever it is that brought and keeps us together. I kept feeling like if we didn't have a theme that represented how we met or some binding feature of our relationship that it meant we weren't good together.  How stupid is that?  I'm not sure where I got that idea,  but I felt like it was something I was 'supposed' to do, so I was stuck on it.  But then, over time, as the 'feel' of our wedding started to evolve,  I realized the theme is us.  And that's enough.  We are good together. Great, in fact. We're solid and strong and committed and that's all I need. I don't need sea shell shaped place holders or a cutesy cake topper to tell me that. (Not that there's anything wrong with those things!)  So it's refreshing and reassuring to see I'm not the only one that feels that way.  Towards the end of her post she even says "forget the 'theme' wedding." Excellent advice.

Moving on.  Reason number two I love this wedding?  Peeps. They're freakin' adorable. Disgusting, but oh so cute.

My third reason is three words. Tan. Vintage. Suit.  And the part about it being $12.  Twelve dollars! Can you believe it?  I'm so grateful to the bride for the idea to check out vintage stores for something for the Future Mr. Husband to wear.  Not that I have a clue how to pick out a suit or would even attempt to try to figure out what would fit, but it will make for a fun outing in the near future!

In my last post I said I was going dress shopping. And just to bring you up to date, I went to the store that had a dress I'd found online that looked perfect.  The only one they had was a size 11, and too big.  So I took a stroll across the hall to another store, and lo and behold, an almost identical dress, but cuter, and about a third of the price.  I don't want to reveal exactly how much I paid for said dress, lest anyone be so distracted by the price that they find themselves thinking "She paid $_____ for that dress???"  as I walk down the aisle instead of "Geez, I'm so happy for these guys!" But lets just say that I came in WELL under my $60 budget, leaving a good chunk for shoes, accessories and foundation garments (that's fancy for 'underwear', babe. If you're reading this.)

So.  On another note, we're moved into our house.  We are also making HUGE progress getting unpacked. I'm kicking myself for not taking 'before' and 'after' pictures from when we had boxes stacked everywhere and what it looks like now.  One of the many, many, many things that I love about  my FMH is that he has amazing sticktoittiveness. That man does not rest until the job is done, no matter what it is.  It keeps me motivated.  Just when I'm overwhelmed from unpacking and trying all day long to decide what goes where and I'm ready to call it good enough, he steps in with fresh perspective and helps finish up the last handful of boxes and gets me through the hump of not knowing where to put stuff anymore.  We have been kicking butt getting this place in order; the kitchen is soclose to being done, the attic is full of baby stuff and Christmas decorations, and the garage is well on it's way to actually being able to house our cars.  We still have some projects to do, of course.  Our closets need some attention, we've got too much kitchen stuff and not enough storage and the kiddo's room needs a toy box in a major way. But at this point everything we have left to do hinges on new furniture, and that takes time to acquire.

I'm so proud of us.

Reminiscing

Remember, that one time, before home buying and renovating and moving took over my life?  When I was talking about a wedding, and planning one on a small budget, and we discussed things like dresses and colors and stuff?  Yeah, me too.  That was awesome. 

So, as a nod to the good old days and an attempt to do something wedding related, I'm going dress shopping today. 

And do you remember that one time, when I was all "I'm pretty set on not wearing white...."  for all those practical reasons, like I have a kid and stuff?  Well, the dress I found that I really, really, really, like is white.  Of course. So, consider the crow eaten.  I expect this isn't the first time I'm going to make a statement that will have to be retracted later....